One of the benefits of having a flexible work schedule is that I can pick the time of day I go to the gym. If I don't have a show or late rehearsal the night before, I prefer to go early in the morning. Now, one may think that this would alleviate some of the general "stressors" involved with going during peak hours. But, let me assure you... going early morning (a.k.a. a less frequented time of the day) brings on a whole new slew of irritations.
A) Leg Press
Please don't roll up with newspapers in hand, fanny pack around your waist and use the leg press as your morning lounge chair. I watched a lady sit on the leg press for nearly 20 minutes with newspaper in hand simply reading the paper with her legs up. Really? Why even go if you are just going to read the paper? Move it or lose it, sister...
B) Old Man Central
Don't plan on getting in and out of the gym in a timely fashion, especially when it comes to the weight machines. Grandpa Joe and Great Uncle Louie like to take their tiiiiiiiime on the machines, thus...messing up your rhythm. Right before you are about to head over to the lap pull down machine, guess who decides to roll up? Yep. Generally speaking, they are a lot slower and less agile than most, yet mysteriously they find a way to sneak on over to the machine and snag it before you can grab your towel. Give yourself an extra 20 minutes.
C) Naked Women
I swear there are those women who intentionally prance around naked in the locker room to make you uncomfortable. They stand in front of the mirror admiring themselves like an idol, and when you walk by they look over at you silently saying, "Do I make you uncomfortable? Look at me... Aren't I beautiful???" I don't care if you walk around naked at home all day long, or run a nudist colony on the Riviera. I don't care if you have the body of Heidi Klum and you are 50 years old. NO ONE wants to see you scrawny bones or large-and-in-charge frame without proper clothing. I know this could happen at any time of day, but it's safe to say...mornings are no exception.
Beyond those few things, there are a lot of benefits to going in the morning: Easy parking, no wait time on the cardio machines (Grandpa Joe and Uncle Louie stick to the treadmills) so the bikes and ellipticals are always open. Oh, and the best part of going in the morning...you get your workout finished and out of the way before work. I love it!
I work out with a lot of older people because it's more of a 'rehab' facility but also open to the public. I'm a fan of the random farters. Farts made by people that probably don't know that they just farted. But they're bad enough to make me wanna hurl.
ReplyDeleteBack when I worked out at a Powerhouse Gym, I would always roll my eyes at the guys that would grunt so hard that the people across the street could hear them. Really? Is that REALLY necessary?
Great use of the "move it or lose it sister!" Dumb and Dumber references are key and you had perfect useage :) A+. LOL!