At what point do we stop doing things for others when they consistently show no appreciation? How long do we allow someone to get away with their behavior before we stand up for ourselves and say something?
I struggle with this question a lot. I view myself as a giving person who enjoys doing things for other people. I also like to think I do a good job showing my appreciation when someone does something nice for me. That being said, I imagine most individuals view themselves in the same manner. So, if that is true, why is it that we collectively feel certain individuals are still ungrateful? Do they know they are being this way? If so (and I believe some do) what is their intention? What causes this behavior? Is it jealousy? Low self-esteem? Bitterness? All three?
What I most struggle with is trying to understand one's thought process. If I go out of my way to do something for you, wouldn't you want to show your gratitude? It seems so obvious and makes common sense to me. It can be as easy as saying a simple "thank you" or sending me an email or card expressing your appreciation. It can be a positive exchange of words with a friend sharing your positive experience. Even a simple smile will do.
I just don't understand individuals who are never grateful for anything. They have a need to find a reason to complain about everything you do, despite your efforts. As my mother explains, "It doesn't matter how hard you work to get 3rd row tickets to a show. They will complain they aren't sitting in the front row." Do you know anyone like this? I do. My mother also says, "When I find myself in this situation, I have to ask myself, 'Am I more mad at them for being that way or am I more mad at myself for allowing them to treat me this way?'"
My mother is right in the fact that we cannot change the way others react. They are going to do what they are going to do. What we can control is how we react to their behavior and make wiser decisions on who we help going forward.
I know people like this too and I'm reminded of something I heard on KTIS (Christian Radio here in the cities.) I was struggling with the same question you posted at the beginning about how far do you allow someone to act ungrateful or unappreciative? The answer was that it's OK to tell people when they aren't treating you the way that they should. It's your right as a Christian to help others understand when they're not respecting you or others. (back to the ol' 'love your neighbor as yourself.') I've taken that path before on pointing it out to the person. They may not like it, but they DO come around. And then I've also just prayed about it and consumed my mind with how God would want me to handle it. Be like his Son, right? What Would Jesus Do? So with that - I continue to 'serve' that person and treat them as I would treat myself, regardless if I felt disrespected by them. I'd rather someone walk away from a situation not being able to say much of anything, rather than lash out at them thus giving them something to talk about.
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